So it’s been about ten years since I properly attended an in-person furry con. Around 2014, I had tabled at a few cons in rapid succession, as well as worked as volunteer staff for one, and wound up getting a little burnt out on the work associated with them and took a break from them after that. But my spouse at the time wasn’t a furry, and wasn’t especially interested in going to furry cons recreationally, so if I wasn’t working a table, they didn’t really see a reason for us to go. I’m afraid we’ve since separated, though, and one of the things I was most looking forward to doing, post-breakup, was getting back into the world.
I’ve become quite close to a few people who are very good at looking after me, for whom being a furry is as much a part of their identity as it is mine. One of them, JJ, is now my boyfriend, the other, Gauge, is someone that I call my owner. When JJ asked if I wanted to go to Megaplex with him this year, obviously I jumped on the opportunity to be able to share my return to cons with him. And I was delighted to learn that Gauge was also planning on going. I was gonna get to have both of my authority figures! Together! At the same time, in the same place! :3
So I wanted to do this right. Gauge’s other pet, our friend Archie, was going to be sharing a room with him, so before the con I made badges for the four of us. I got an airplane pillow and a bottle of melatonin and downloaded Rick Griffin’s latest audiobook to try to make the flight, which I was dreading, as comfortable as possible. The flight was okay. It wasn’t super comfortable, but it wasn’t as miserable as I was bracing for.
And then Florida. I’ve never been to Florida! Did you know the air is chewy? I didn’t know they made air that thick! It was like trying to inhale a duvet! It was rainy and hot? At the same time? Is that allowed? I spent basically the entire weekend inside of the regulated environment of the hotel itself because the weather was just incomprehensible.
JJ and I met in person for the first time when I visited him almost two years ago, though our relationship hadn’t yet crystallized into the state that it is now. I’ve had several folks over the years, mostly online, that have taken the role of adult supervision for me – about halfway through my marriage, my spouse and I had had the conversation about being poly, that we weren’t conventional people and we didn’t need to hold ourselves to conventional relationship standards – but my spouse obviously remained my primary partner throughout that time.
But this trip, with JJ and I attending the convention together, would be the first time that he and I would be spending time together since we started using the word “boyfriend,” which made it significant. It made the relationship feel more real. Shortly before I left for the trip. I revealed to my coworkers that that was the word we were using now, and I also told my mom not long before that. And I don’t know, it felt like getting away with something? When my spouse and I first met, I was still trying to check off all of the boxes to be a good Mormon, and only lost my religion after a few years into my marriage, but remained married for nearly two decades. So I’m still fairly new to the actual practice of homosexuality, and I’d never come out to anyone before.
A lot of the con was underscored by the giddy excitement of this new stage of our relationship, having matching badges, holding hands, kissing. It wasn’t my first time kissing a guy, but it was my first time doing, you know, a lot of other stuff, like the kind of stuff I’d previously only heard happens at cons, for other people.
I was a little anxious about how well JJ and Gauge would get along in person – I’d introduced them in VRchat, and they’ve kind of been working out what boundaries they’re comfortable with, where it relates to how each of them assert their authority over me, and Gauge was careful to give us plenty of space together to explore our relationship. But I, uh. Having one person in charge of me is good, having multiple people discussing what’s to be done with me, having to hush while the grownups are talking? That’s really good. And I got to enjoy a bit of that at the con, too. Lot of firsts. :3
About ten years back, shortly after the beginning of my long convention hiatus, circumstances required that I re-enter the workforce, as my income as a working artist wasn’t substantial enough to for my spouse and I to weather hiccups with their job situation. So we moved to Seattle and I jumped into a call center meat grinder, which is where I stayed for six goddamned years. Conventional employment left me with not a whole lot of time or energy for artwork, and as a result of that, I’d kind of got it into my head that my work had faded from relevance, that people didn’t really know who I was as an artist anymore.
But there were a few conversations at Megaplex that shifted my self-image a bit. I spoke to Chu of Slightly Damned at his booth and he recognized me immediately, even though the last time we spoke had been a decade previous at BLFC, and he said he was really glad to see me posting to FA again. When JJ introduced me to his friends Akko, Paco and SmokeyAussie, I was a little starstruck because all of them are artists whose talents I respect and admire – and all of them already knew my work. SmokeyAussie is, in my opinion, one of the best littlespace artists active currently, and he asked me if I was available for commissions, which I was honestly stunned by. I’ll be moving in with JJ next year, and when that happens, I intend to go back to being a working artist with his support, so it was tremendously gratifying to learn that there’s still folks aware of my work, and still folks wanting to see more.
It was also nice to get looked after and doted on in other ways. JJ took me to dinner when I got off the plane, I got mac an’ cheese with chicken strips. Gauge took me to breakfast. JJ got me a really nice portrait from Paco, and now it’s on my bedroom wall. Gauge took me and Archie shopping in the dealer’s den for cuffs that match the collars he got for us last year (collars that both our VRchat avatars wear now, as well). This was really my first time attending a furry con while formally employed, which meant I could have a little bit of fun in the dealer’s room on my own dime, too.
I’d hoped to attend some panels, but was surprised to see nothing on the official convention schedule that really interested me – I guess I got a little spoiled by Furality’s programming, where there’s usually about half a dozen meetups and presentations that have some topic presented by an expert that I usually find enriching; Megaplex’s panel schedule seemed like it was largely 101-level stuff being presented by enthusiastic amateurs. Which is fine! So far as I can tell, furry con attendance has kind of always been about 60% under-25s, and con growth rates mean that a substantial volume of attendees will be first-time visitors, so loading up on entry-level content makes a lot of sense. Just not for me, is all.
Gauge has about five hundred different fursuits, though he only brought one with him to Florida, and this particular costume is part of a set that he coordinates with a bunch of other fursuiters, and JJ is an experienced fursuit photographer so a lot of their interaction at the con involved him following Gauge’s firedog cohort around and taking pictures for them, and it was neat to get to see JJ work.
I came back from the con energized and now my main project is saving to move back to California to be with my puppy. The last few years have honestly been pretty rough for me personally, with some health issues I’ve been managing, being laid off from my call center job two years ago (though I did land a much better job for my skillset afterward), and all of the feelings associated with the end of a 20-year-long relationship. For most of 2023-2024 I felt like I didn’t really have anything left to look forward to; this year things have turned around completely. One of the things I believe very deeply is that optimism is a survival trait, and despite everything happening in the world right now, I feel optimism for my own future for the first time in a long time. I feel like I’ve been doing a lot of healing over the last few months and a lot of it has to do with these two obnoxious dogs that think they can just put themselves in charge of me.
So weird.